Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
