did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
