Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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