K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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