so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
