i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
