I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
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He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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