DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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