Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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