i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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