At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
