This is not my ceiling
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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