i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
