Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
