the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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