By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
