I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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