And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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