I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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