how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
