you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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