so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
