So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
