Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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