Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently you make a good broom.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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