All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
