This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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