after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
