its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Found your dick twin last night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
