She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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