Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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