no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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