I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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