you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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