He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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