I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
