Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize