I think scott just propositioned me for sex
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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