yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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