the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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