She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize