just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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