Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
