You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
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I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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