Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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