ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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