I bet he comes in French.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize