Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
COCAINE IS GR8
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
