I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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