I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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