I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i already hear my dad disowning me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
