I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
