I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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