Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
