I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
50% drunk capacity currently
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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