im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
