Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize