dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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