So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
