Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
